Books on dating a recovering alcoholic

10 Oct

And when you are with an alcoholic, you are used to suffering in silence as the martyr, wondering why the alcoholic does what s/he does. This included that he did not go to my grandfather’s funeral, he did not come home all night long, and he brought cocaine into our home.After four and half pages of undeniable facts, I realized that there was no longer any question of whether or not I could stay with him. When you live with an addict, you are never quite certain about reality. By writing down the facts as they happened, he could not come back to me later with his own version of the truth.I guess I still liked hanging around screwed up people, even if I wasn’t using. I still found something sexy about it.”The Big Book doesn’t specifically state that dating is forbidden in the first year of sobriety, but you’ll hear this suggestion bandied around the rooms plenty of times. Christine Milrod, a sex and life coach in LA, suggests that this is because “many people in recovery have previously used for so long that they have no idea of who they truly are.They need to get to know themselves on a very deep level and enjoy self-acceptance before rushing into a sexual relationship.” She advocates psychotherapy for examining past behaviors and coming into the self-acceptance necessary for entering into healthy relationships.“'Two sickies don’t make a welly,’ my 80-year-old sponsor used to say.” According to James, a 33-year-old photographer from Los Angeles who’s been sober for eight years, when he first came to AA he listened to what his sponsor told him and religiously avoided dating women in the program.

And, unfortunately for you, alcohol is THE ONE AND ONLY for the alcoholic. Alcohol will always be the priority of the active alcoholic.When people become sober it opens up a world of possibility.They can now begin to rebuild their life and get back many of the things they have lost.It is strongly advised that they remain focused on themselves until their sobriety is strong.Once they are settled in their new life, they can then begin to consider sharing it with somebody else.